Have you ever had someone you trusted betray you? Spreading information about you that was never meant to be shared?

It’s like having the rug pulled out from under you. You’re standing solidly on your feet one minute then down flat on your back the next. Or like a sudden whirlwind picking up an object, spinning it in the air then throwing it yards away. When you gather your energy you find the eyes of others staring at you in disbelief.

When I had an experience with this I had to wonder, did Jesus know the feeling? I’ve always heard that he knew betrayal – I thought it was when the disciples and His followers abandoned Him when He was arrested. But after reading John 13 I looked at Judas a little closer.

Judas was one of the twelve. He walked alongside Jesus, listened to the lessons, and practiced the miracles like the other disciples. He was even put in charge of the donation money that was given to the group. Of course, looking back on it, some of the disciples didn’t like him being in that position, but still he was. (John 12:6, 13:29) And because of the seating arrangement at the last supper, we know it was an important position that worked closely with Jesus.

Watch out – a little history here – the table the supper took place at would have been U-shaped. The main person sat near the end of the left arm (as you look at the ends). Those closest to the main guest, or of highest importance sat next to, across from and right around that person.

From the scriptures we know three things. John was close enough to rest his head on the shoulder of Jesus. Peter was just far enough away he couldn’t hear what was said to John by Jesus. Judas was close enough that Jesus dipped bread in the sauce and easily handed it to him.

Hello…did you catch that?

Judas was sitting in one of the close seats. Because of tradition, we can assume that it was expected for him to sit there. If he had been so disliked or found to be of lower importance, then he would have been seated further away from Jesus.

Another thing the scriptures tell us…the devil entered Judas. (John 6:70; 13:2, 27) If Judas was evil by nature, there would have been no need for Satan to enter Judas. There were multiple opportunities for the dastardly deed to have been done earlier.

Still, Jesus knew what path Judas was going to take (John 6:71) before the group was seated at the early celebration of the Passover meal. Even knowing this, Jesus allowed Judas to have an important position. And from His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:35-36, Matthew 26:36-46) I will assume He held out hope that Judas wouldn’t go through with it.

But Judas didn’t stop. And not only did he expose the private prayer location (John 18:2) of Jesus, but he did it with a kiss.

Oh the pain that the Son of Man must have felt. It’s one thing to know something is going to happen. It’s another when you have to live it out. That’s what makes Jesus so special to me. He experienced it.

Does He know the pain I went through?

Absolutely. He understands. And it is His comfort that got me through and continues to surround me. He is my hope.